recap and resolutions

I haven't been the best about keeping at it, but here are the highlights of one very tumultuous year.

• I accompanied my mother to Ohio following my grandmother's passing, where I helped her make the decision to move there. I also got stuck in the snowstorms flying standby and spent a few days bouncing back and forth between Chicago, Cincinnati, Newark and Dallas. For a little bit, I honestly thought I wasn't going home.
• I ended my year as Miss Katie, and the preschool I was working at closed in May.
• I officially came out to my close family (and Marcus's) about my decision not to have children.
• I was a finalist in a Pinup Girl Clothing contest, which was a huge deal to me. 
• I made the decision with Marcus to move to Washington, where I now reside for the time being.
• We drove together from Phoenix, through California and Oregon, and ended in Kent, WA.
• We also went to Disneyland!
• I dropped everything in September and took a whirlwind trip to Amsterdam. I fell in love, and now it's all I think about.
• Also, London. It wasn't what I thought it would be, but I'm happy I went.
• I spent the night in the airport in Germany. I would not do this again.
• I learned to crochet! 
• I got my first semi-"adult" job.
• I spent my first holiday season away from my family.

Like I said, it was a mixed bag. It was a lot of change, which is good in its own way. I finally got out of Arizona, which was immense. I used to get so distraught about living there, I think people worried. However, Washington has come with its own issues, and I've come to understand that my wanderlust is only ever going to intensify. Going to the Netherlands did not in any way make this better. I know that's not the easiest thing to hear out loud, particularly for certain family members, but it's also time. I'm working on becoming the person I want to be; I can't say that happened entirely this year, but I came a long way. Also, there were fun parts that balanced out some of the severity. I had good company.

Now, as I'm looking at 2015 here in a few hours, I've been doing some thinking about what I want most out of it.

I was never the biggest fan of New Year's resolutions; mostly, I think I'm too impulsive to save all of my goals for the end of the year. I'm very prone to deciding on a whim that I'm going to learn a new skill or pursue some change in my life. Still, I see the appeal of the "fresh start", so here's what's on my laundry list.

• Retake my Foreign Service Officer Test. I made the appointment this afternoon for February 5th; the only one I could get for now is right after work, and I will thus be burnt out by the end. If I think about it too long, I'll rattle myself. Still, I'm grateful that the testing center is literally ten minutes from my job, because the other options were in downtown Seattle and Yakima. Small victories. 
• Study endlessly for said test. I've taken it once before, so I know it's virtually impossible to know what exactly you'll be asked...therefore, the next month is going to involve a ton of trivia games and staring at maps of Africa.
• Get back into pilates and yoga--I really enjoyed Blogilates last year, and I still do her videos on and off, but I got stuck in one set workout routine (a lot of times after work, I only have an hour before making dinner, so I stick with what I know). I'd like to repurpose some of that time to get into more fun, dynamic exercises. 
• Hone my crocheting skills. This time next year, I want to be making hats!
• Perfect my baking. I've been enamored with it all year, and I can't wait to try making ciabatta, sourdough and wheat bread (to name a few!) in the coming weeks. 
• Continue my slow-but-steady fight against depression. Losing the battle is not losing the war. If you're reading this and you relate, keep at it. Your depression does not define you. 
• Branch out creatively and shoot for more frequent blog entries. Ever since my grandmother passed, I've been making excuses not to use her camera. It's probably time to take it off the shelf! 
• Write. A favorite author of mine who I relate to in many ways referred to her words as being "trapped behind an iron curtain" when she was depressed, and I've never heard it articulated so well. I will try very, very hard to move my iron curtain this year. 

To me, that seems doable. I look forward to sharing the outcome with all of you who are nice enough to visit. 

I wish everyone a happy 2015!